When God’s “favor” isn’t found in the result… but in the process. May you have eyes to see and be thankful

My youthful thinking always viewed the “favor” of God in the tangibles: a parking spot, entry into a party without waiting, unexpected extra credit on a test.

You might laugh. I still do.

My less youthful thinking transitioned into viewing favor in terms of even more “important” tangibles: a new job, a new house, health, and bills paid.

My recent experience and reading of God's Word are challenging my viewpoint on favor.

I'd argue that the more arduous the process, the more refining of His fire, the more one is forced to "wait on the Lord,” and the more tests and trials…… the richer the taste of His favor appears in hindsight.

What if you’ve been waiting for a certain result…thinking the Lord has forsaken you or is teasing you…when in actuality, He’s allowing His favor to pour out upon you abundantly through a process that He’s carefully curating for your spiritual walk so that you know Him, abide in Him, depend on Him, rest in Him, love Him, and conform to the image of His Son Jesus Christ.

What if you've been frantically looking for a certain result-entirely missing the beauty of your current process?

Story Time.

My husband and I have five precious children.

6-9 months after the birth of each of my children, without fail, I often receive a huge burst of ambition.

It's a bit difficult to explain but as best as I can put it, I feel the need to go out and conquer the world.

Maybe not "the" world, but certainly the parts of it that involve me.

For instance, during this time period, I get different ideas on how to redecorate the house. I want to immediately implement new systems into the home. I want to start a business or two as side hustles. I suddenly want to gain new skills as a homemaker. I want to get busy and "succeed."

After the birth of our secondborn, this ambition sprung forth with fierce energy and focus.

I took on a side hustle with gladness. I made plans to start a virtual nutritional coaching business.

I looked into getting a type of certification. My husband and I made our annual vision plan at the top of the year with our lists, goals, and plans, and believed the Lord was going to come through in a pretty significant way.

Within the span of a month, I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to stop my side hustle completely. He gave me a dream and told me to focus my attention on praying that He would bless my husband's business and pray that all of our tangible desires/needs would come through his business. The Holy Spirit told me to pause on the nutritional coaching.

Within a month, I was pregnant with our third. After our third was born, the same "go forth and conquer" ambition arose, and just as quickly, I got pregnant with our fourth.

Why do I share this?

Honestly, most of the lists, goals, and plans that my husband and I have made year after year have not come to fruition.

My nature is to think that all limitations are self-imposed. That there are no problems, only solutions. That if you want to get something done, you must go out and figure it out. That formulas are the only solutions to bearing fruit.

But God, in His love, has shown me a different way. Because He loves me so much, the formulas that typically might make another person "successful"-albeit the self-help books, podcasts, "how to" blog posts-will not amount to anything in my life, by His divine hindrance, if it’s a part from Him and His divine timing. It simply won't bear eternal fruit.

In other words, the Lord won't allow me to build my own tower of babel, even if others are able to build one, revel in it, and falsely give God "glory" for it.

(Disclaimer: I'm not against formulas. I believe the Holy Spirit can lead one to follow ones in certain areas of life by His leading. But even in that, may your dependence be on the Holy Spirit and not in the formula. The Holy Spirit can make any formula bear eternal fruit if you're going by His leading. Fruit points to the glory of God. Formulas and outputs ALONE point to the glory of man.)

The Lord is creating a process for me that REQUIRES me to rely wholeheartedly on Him. A process that forces me to run into His presence for sustenance. A process where I utter, without pause, “Lord you’re my only solution. Give me Your wisdom.” It’s a process that I'm just now fully embracing.

So why do I mention this whole thing about favor being found in the processes and not only the result?

Did you know that before Moses delivered the Israelites from the hand of Pharaoh after 450 years of slavery, Moses was an obscure shepherd for 40 years?

Before David became King over Israel and Judah, he was a nomad for years--running for his life from King Saul. Although anointed king in his teenage years, David didn’t become king over both of these regions until another 10+ years

Before Joseph became vice-regent to Pharaoh, he was sold into slavery, falsely accused of rape, and jailed again. Overall, he went through 13 years of waiting before the promise of God was fulfilled in His life.

If you ONLY saw Moses standing up to Pharaoh with boldness and power, if you ONLY saw this young King David ruling Israel and Judah and winning different battles left and right, if you ONly saw Joseph in a highly-esteemed position and handling the grain for all of Israel and surrounding areas during a famine…

it would be EASY to THEN and only then say that these men were highly favored.

But let me submit this to you. 

They were highly favored before the results were evident to man's eye. The Lord, in His abundant love, ALLOWED for them to go through a "process" that prepared them to be used for His Glory. He broke them. He humbled them. He allowed them to walk through many valleys.

Keep your chin up, beloved. To grow in the favor of God and man, seek God. Surrender to Him. Humble yourself. And accept the process He so chooses to take you through.

Don't rush it. Don't doubt it. Worship Him through it. And thank Him for it in the midst of it. 

Lastly, remember that He IS the ULTIMATE reward. Not the result you so desire.

The RESULT is not the ultimate reward.

Let me pause for those in the back.

THAT specific result in your head, which may or may not come in the form that you're imagining, is not the ULTIMATE REWARD.

I used to think (and still do, depending on the day) that if I could just get to this point in life, receive this amount of money, go on this vacation, be able to sleep for 8+ hours uninterrupted, never have to cook another meal by choice...then I could rest and feel His favor upon my life.

As of recently, honey, I wake up feeling the luxuries of having my name written in the Book of Life and being in communion with the Creator of the entire universe.

Be careful to not idolize whatever "result" you so desire. May your primary heart's desire simply be...Him, His Will, and His ways. Often the results come in due time-but in Christ's love, AND when you wait on His timing, the results will come in a season when they are no longer your heart's ULTIMATE desire.

In short, embrace the process beloved. When the process is from God, it will draw you into deeper intimacy with Him. And before you know it, you’ll prize that intimacy more than anything else.

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Weight-Loss: Focusing on the Process...Not the End Results

After having our third child, I was excited to lose my additional baby weight—weight that I knew helped to nourish our sweet newborn with all of her essential nutrients but weight I couldn’t wait to depart from nonetheless.

When our daughter was a few months old, I began doing some at-home workouts. Aside from feeling “sore” a few days in a row, I saw very little results from my sweaty workouts.

My husband assured me that “these things” took time. He was quite the professional at this point in coaching and encouraging  me through any postpartum woes. We just had our third child. But I wanted some sort of  results. Anything to motivate me to keep at it. 

Shortly into thinking over my “dilemma,” I recalled a podcast I listened to a few months prior to having my baby.

 In the podcast the interviewer made a remarkable statement. 

She said that the most “successful” people in the world obsess over processes-not end results.

 In obsessing over the process, perfecting the process, falling in love with the process…the results always came. 

Obsess over the process.

Perfect the process.

Fall in love with the process. 

In terms of working out, I needed a process that afforded me greater probability for consistency (i.e. time away from the kids to workout). I needed a process that brought greater accountability. I needed a process that filled me up in more ways than just one. I needed something to look forward to that I absolutely loved. 

I swapped out my at-home workouts and joined a gym (thanks to my sister who gifted me with a very large birthday gift $$ dedicated towards my self-care). 

I began swimming. I began going to the sauna and meditating. I began taking dance classes that offered a fusion between  salsa, Afrobeats, hip hop, and even belly dancing. 

I obsessed over the process. Perfected it. Fell in love with it.   Before I knew it, the results came without me fishing for them. 

Why do I write this blog post? 

I now try to apply this principle in every area of my life. Whether it's in my marriage, my parenting, my cooking etc.

If I want to continue to grow as a person, I focus on creating  HEALTHY processes, habits, routines.

Some processes I love from the jump. Others, I fall in love with over time 

In short, I now spend more time thinking through processes than end results/goals. 

That’s not to say that I don’t have goals. Honey, I do! It’s to say that I spend more of my thought energy in strategizing over how to obtain that goal, rather than wondering if I’ve “arrived” yet. I usually set a timeline (with A LOT of margin) and I don’t measure my progress until that time is up so as to not get discouraged.

I’m not perfect… at all! And I don’t prioritize everything. But what I want in life, I do prioritize.  

I want to know Jesus intimately. I want to experience deeper  layers of a healthy marriage. I want my family to enjoy really scrumptious healthy food. I want to create lasting memories that are spoken about long after I’m gone. I want to look and feel sexy-always haha.  I want my children to walk intimately with the Lord all the days of their lives. I want to be a forever learner. 

Because of this, I must spend time asking God and others for wisdom to know what healthy routines, rhythms, and habits to implement now so that these things can be accomplished.

Life can become busy and chaotic quickly.

If you don’t consider what guardrails to implement in your life so that certain areas of your life continue to thrive without having to give CONSTANT daily thought to them, it’s easy for those same areas to drift towards a state of stagnancy and sometimes decay.  This applies to anyone spiritually, emotionally, physically, relationally etc. 

In short, if you’re not seeing the results you want in an area of your life, don’t lose heart. Don’t give up. Don’t resign to the “ it is what it is” type of mentality.

Seek wisdom. Focus on the process. Change the process, if necessary. 

BUT Be patient. Before you know it, the results will come. 

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