"If that had not been enough, I would have given you even more."
There's a concept that has been hard for me to fathom. For so many years, I’ve seen God's heart in a way that has been very fixed. The image is of One who desires for me to be Holy...and as a result, turns away upon seeing my blemishes. One who is in constant search for me to be conformed to the image of Christ… and ONLY seeks me in order to relentlessly do everything in His power to make sure this work (me) is finished upon Christ’s return. But in this fixed image of God, I am blinded to His heart. It’s as though I make God become devoid of any and all emotion. And myself? A mere project in need of fixing.
But this image is a bit challenged and becomes more nuanced when I stumble across this verse:
“8 I gave your master’s house to you and your master’s wives into your arms, and I gave you the house of Israel and Judah, and if that was not enough, I would have given you even more.”
If that was not enough, I would have given you even more.
Let’s back up. This verse is stated towards King David. King David is someone I, and many of my friends, used to say that we desire for our future husbands to be like—a man after God’s own heart. This is beautiful in theory...but let’s not forget that David held several blemishes too. David slept with another man’s wife, impregnated her, and then set up a strategy to kill her husband.
David received this statement from the Lord, after being confronted by the full weight of his sins through the prophet Nathan.
Through this exchange, the Lord states all of the ways in which He, the Lord, had been faithful to David. He states all of the lavish blessings that He had bestowed upon David in the past—which were a lot. After reminding David of these things, instead of only reigning down the curses/consequences that were to come due to his sin—rightfully deserved—the Lord leaves me struck by His preceding words:
“If that had not been enough...I would have given you even more.”
If the houses had not been enough; if David’s wives had not been enough; if territorial kingdoms had not been enough etc—the Lord doesn’t say “I will just remove them and see how you fare.” But instead the Lord says, “If that had not been enough, I would have given you even more.”
My heart just drops.
Have you ever committed a sin and then expected the next reigning blow from the Lord? You confess, you repent, and when something bad happens—state to yourself, “Well, I deserve it.” These thoughts often resound in my mind when peering down at myself, my actions, and my sinfulness.
But the moment I truly look into the Father’s eyes, I don’t see anger—but instead, I see a glimpse of my Father’s hurt and outstretched hands.
If that had not been enough, Jessica, I would have given you more.
In this statement, I’m faced with the Father’s love. What’s interesting is that I don’t see sheer anger, but instead a deep resounding hurt.
“Jessica, if my peace had not been enough, my presence, my joy, my satisfaction...I would have given you more.”
You're not a project. You're not looked upon through eyes of disgust. You're loved. And because You're loved, He will chase after you. He will discipline you. He will desire for you to be holy...because He is holy. Why? Because He desires the most to be intimate with you.
PonderedThought: Be challenged today by the Father’s heart. I dare you to take your eyes off of yourself and peer into His heart. Yes, our sins reap consequences. But more than viewing the damages caused by your own sinfulness, consider the feelings of the One most affected—Your beloved Lord.
He's not devoid of feeling. He's not unaffected by your actions. He's not more concerned about a mission rather than a relationship. See His heart...just this once.
Take a moment to meditate on the words that the Father shared with David, before sharing with him the punishment to come.
"If that was not enough (insert name), I would have given you even more."