1 Verse that showed me the heart of God: He's better than you thought
For many years, I saw God's heart in a way that was very fixed. And in this fixed image of God, I was blinded to His heart. In effect, I made God devoid of any and all emotion. And myself? A mere project in need of fixing.
Originally Posted: 1/16/18
Updated: 1/16/20
"If that had not been enough, I would have given you much, much more."
For many years, I saw God's heart in a way that was very fixed.
The image was of One who desired for me to be Holy...and as a result, turned away upon seeing my blemishes.
One who was in constant search for me to be conformed to the image of Christ… and ONLY sought me in order to relentlessly do everything in His power to make sure this work (me) was finished upon Christ’s return.
One who was only interested in my perfection and not in my shortcomings.
But in this fixed image of God, I was blinded to His heart. In effect, I made God devoid of any and all emotion. And myself? A mere project in need of fixing.
But this imagery began to become challenged when coming across certain verses in the Bible over the years.
One example includes the following passage (SN: Here, the Lord speaks to King David, after King David’s most recent sin of raping another man’s wife. King David then killed the wife’s husband. I know. It’s quite a bit.):
7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. 8 I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah.
And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more.
9 Why did you despise the word of the Lord by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. 10 Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.
2 Samuel 12:7-10
In His exchange with David, the Lord stated all of the ways in which He, the Lord, had been faithful to David. After reminding David of these things, instead of only telling David the consequences that were to come due to his sin—rightfully deserved—the Lord leaves me struck by these words:
If that had not been enough, I would have given you much, much more.
Have you ever committed a sin and then expected the next reigning blow from the Lord? You confess, you repent, and when something bad happens—state to yourself, “Well, I deserve it. The Lord is angry with me.” These thoughts can sometimes resound in one’s mind when a person doesn’t know the heart of their true Father.
The moment you truly look into the Father’s eyes in this passage, you don’t see anger—but instead, you see a glimpse of A Father’s hurt and outstretched hands.The Lord simply wanted David to turn to Him. David had no reason to steal from others.
“If that had not been enough, David...I would have given you much, much more.”
If the houses had not been enough; if David’s wives had not been enough; if territorial kingdoms had not been enough etc.—the Lord doesn’t say “I will just remove them and see how you fare.” But instead, the Lord says, “If that had not been enough, I would have given you much, much more.”
My heart just drops.
The Lord simply wanted David to come to Him.
We often view the Lord’s discipline, especially in the Old Testament, and cringe. We easily succumb to thinking that this God is terrifying, full of wrath, and unforgiving. It’s easy to go to the next set of verses and linger over the consequences that the Lord pronounced over David due to his sin. But before doing so…take pause at this one verse that God tells David right beforehand.
“If that had not been enough...I would have given you much, much more.”
Be challenged today by the Father’s heart. I dare you to take your eyes off of yourself and peer into His heart. Yes, our sins reap consequences. But more than viewing the damages caused by our own sinfulness, consider the feelings of the One most affected—Your beloved Lord.
He's not devoid of feeling. He's not unaffected by your actions. He's NOT more concerned about a mission rather than a relationship. See His heart...just this once.
You're not a project.
You're not looked upon through eyes of disgust.
You're loved.
And because You're loved, He will chase after you. He will discipline you. He will desire for you to be holy...because He is holy.
Why? Because He desires the most to be intimate with you.
Take a moment to meditate on the words that the Father shared with David, before sharing with him the punishment to come.
"If that was not enough (insert your name), I would have given you much, much more."
PonderedThought: What has the Lord given you that you’re saying “isn’t enough” through your actions recently?
Is it His peace? His Protection? His Guidance? His Presence? His current Provision? Your Family?
Hear Him now saying….
“If that had not been enough (insert name)...I would have given you much more.”
Instead of running to others/things, He simply wants you to come to Him.
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Sis, the sins you love today..will affect your children tomorrow. There's HOPE.
Don’t wait until tomorrow. Let go of it today. You never know how the deliverance you seek today sows into the freedom your children will reap tomorrow.
We sat in Panera bread—our soup, salad, and chips spread out on the table in non-orderly fashion. After a quick pause for prayer, we joyfully dug in. As we mindlessly moved from our hot soup, to sips of water in between, to small bites of cold crisp salad, the older lady sitting across from me—the one who had invited me out for an impromptu lunch date, the one who emanated wisdom without haughtiness—looked me squarely in the face with eyes that exuded heavenly zeal. She then carefully stated,
“Jessica, the sins you don’t surrender now to God, will be manifested in your children.”
There was no pause. And yet her words stopped all of time experienced for me in that moment. I don't prefer absolute statements, and so I stared into her eyes with rightful skepticism.
This was my bible study leader and a woman who greatly feared the Lord. The way she spoke of the Lord drew me to her. I cherished her words of advice. And so, despite my skepticism, her warning pierced me in ways that others’ utterances simply couldn’t penetrate (due to my boundaries and often pride).
She didn’t say “might be” or “could possibly.” She unapologetically said, “The sins you don’t surrender now to God, WILL BE manifested in your children.”
And then she used biblical examples and her own life experience to back it up.
The one sin that David didn’t take to the Lord regarded his sexual life. Just read the Psalms and you’ll see. David was open and transparent with God in several areas of his life, except when it came to sexual temptation. Hence, he had multiple wives and committed adultery/rape with Bathsheba.
Was sexual sin manifested in his children?
David’s son Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Solomon’s pagan relations with women is believed to have been one of the main causes for the division of the Israelite kingdom an entire generation later.
David’s other son Amnon actually fell sick because Amnon was so overcome with lust for his half-sister Tamar. Tragically, Amnon’s lust eventually drove him to actually rape his own half-sister.
What about David’s other children?
When David committed his sexual sin with Bathsheba, the Lord said,
“ Behold, I will raise up adversity against you from your own house; and I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun. For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel, before the sun.”
The Lord promised that the sexual sin that David did in secret would be manifested in public through someone else. That “someone else” was through David’s other son, Absalom. David’s son Absalom slept with all of David’s concubines openly for everyone to see.
Do you now see the common theme of sexual sin that ran rampant in David’s children?
If that example doesn’t convict you, let’s look at Abraham.
Abraham, the father of faith, had a habit of lying. Abraham lied TWICE and said that his wife, Sarah, was his sister when he was faced with the threat of death.
Because Sarah was beautiful, Abraham didn’t want Pharaoh (Genesis 12) nor King Abimelech (Genesis 20) to kill him in order to marry his wife, and so he lied on two separate occasions and said that she was his sister. Many years later, Abraham’s son, Isaac, was faced with a similar predicament and did the same. Isaac lied and told King Abimelech that his wife, Rebecca, was his sister (Genesis 26). That lie didn’t last long though because the king saw Isaac caressing his wife outside in a way that would have let anyone know that homegirl was not Isaac’s sister.
It doesn’t end there though. Many years later, Isaac’s son and Abraham’s grandson, Jacob, picked up this same sin too by lying and telling his father that he was his older brother, Esau instead of Jacob, in order to receive the blessing intended for the elder son. Then Jacob’s own children lied to him by telling him that Joseph, their brother and Jacob’s youngest son at the time, was killed by a wild beast when in actuality they had sold Joseph off into slavery to the Ishmaelites (Genesis 36). The “lying” stronghold manifested itself generationally, from Abraham to Isaac to Jacob and all the way to the children of Jacob.
So when my bible study leader said “will be” I see now that she’s right.
If I don’t sacrifice my choice of sin at the altar, the sin that Christ died for, the sin that I can experience victory over- it is more than likely going to be manifested in my children.
This is how generational curses, sins, and struggles persist through family lines. It is up to us as believers to interrupt these patterns.
How can you change the future of your family? Surrender to God the choice of sin you so dearly cling to. In so doing, you can protect your children from experiencing the same struggle.
Do you disrespect and mistreat your spouse without shame?
Do you panic and allow fear and anxiety to dictate your actions when you feel out of control?
Do you surrender those insecurities about your body or looks by clinging to God’s word that says you are fearfully and wonderfully made? Or do you fuel them by comparing yourself to others in your newsfeed, insta stories, and celebrity fanfare?
Do you find that you often covet? As in do you find yourself secretly wanting the social status, marital status, children status, or any status of others?
Do you turn to food, television, CBD,or pills for a peace and escape that only the Lord YEARNS to give to you if you'd run to Him as a child in crisis moments?
These struggles may feel personal to just you, but be not deceived...
children pick up on these things.
Your son is watching.
Your daughter is observing.
Would you want your daughter/son following in your footsteps?
Even if children are only a dream of your future, they will still be impacted by your actions in the present.
Again, surrender whatever choice of sin you so dearly cling to. Otherwise, it could be manifested in your children.
Lastly, there’s hope. Please Understand. THERE'S HOPE.
If you’ve seen this to already be true in your own life and in your own children, identify the generational sin by name and rebuke it in the name of Jesus. Repent and go to the Lord for His ALMIGHTY HELP through the power of the Holy Spirit to experience victory. Prayer is powerful.
It’s NEVER too late to experience the redemptive work of Jesus Christ in your life, your children’s lives, and in generations to come.
Can I repeat myself once more?
That sin you wrestle with-Christ died for it. There’s no need carrying it, experiencing defeat, and passing it on from one generation to the next. But I beg you. Let go of it today. Do whatever you must to surrender it.
You never know how the deliverance you seek today sows into the freedom your children will reap tomorrow.
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Beware: A dangerous mentality invading Christian culture
Now that I’ve been in the “Christian” circle for a couple of years, there’s something that the Lord is now teaching me to be very wary of. It’s subtle. It’s sneaky. And it can come upon anyone without advanced warning.
When I first began walking closely with the Lord, there was a sort of righteous fear that overwhelmed me. His presence, His glory, and His authority went beyond the scope of my finite understanding. Because of that, I held His Word preciously in my heart. I fearfully examined and readily applied any directive, despite several failings.
Being reminded of the emptiness I felt before walking with the Lord, I discovered a heart posture of humility that no book, sermon, nor song could teach.
As an unfortunate parallel to this holy fear, I often became overcome with condemnation when I stared into the contrast between the holiness of God and my personal sinful condition. Aware of His holiness, I constantly found myself taking my eyes off my Perfect Savior and settling onto the view of my own shortcomings.
Condemnation often led to guilt. Guilt then led to deep shame. This wasn’t from the Holy One.
Thankfully, His Word healed my own self-inflicted wounds.
“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
“As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us”
The Lord taught me that shame was not from Him. He taught me the power of His Blood. He gave me freedom, secure love, and peace.
But now that I’ve been in the “Christian” circle for a couple of years, there’s something that the Lord is now teaching me to be very wary of.
It’s subtle.
It’s sneaky.
And it can come upon anyone without advanced warning.
It’s...Spiritual pride.
There are two sides to spiritual pride. On the one hand, you might find others who base their salvation in the things that they do and judge others’ salvation or righteousness based on their human-made list as well.
For instance, the list could be, “I fast once a month. I pay my tithes. I read the Word every day. I go to church every Sunday. I volunteer in the children’s church. And I don’t use social media. ”
The list itself isn’t the problem. In fact, this list contains some pretty powerful spiritual practices that could really help some grow in their faith.
The problem is when a person believes that “because I do (___), I am (saved, righteous, or pleasing in the Lord’s sight)”. This belief cheapens the blood of Jesus Christ. By trying to gain with human works that which could only be done through divine sacrifice, cheapens the blood of Jesus Christ.
The essence of salvation in Christianity, which makes it different from all other religions, is that Jesus literally did it all. We don’t have to “do” in order to “be.” We are already righteous in the eyes of God. Rather, it’s because of our gratitude for this overwhelming grace of God and our love for God that we voluntarily fast, give, spend time with God, and serve others.
Do you see the difference?
Okay. But that’s just one side of spiritual pride.
There’s another. This “other” is growing more prevalent within Christian culture and even in my own heart. It’s something that the Lord is warning me about. Perhaps, you too.
The second side of spiritual pride is the hidden belief that one is Christ or above Christ.
If you just wrenched your nose and inwardly shook your head and said to yourself, “Blasphemy. That’s not me at all, Jessica!” hold tight and keep reading, because it may very well be you.
Yes, there’s legalism. But the opposite extreme of a legalistic culture is an elitist mentality that one is above the commands of God. This too is spiritual pride. And both are equally as dangerous.
Luke 6: 40
“A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is perfectly trained will be like his teacher.”
The temptation (notice that this can be a temptation and not an automatic trap we fall into) that can arise from drawing closer to the Lord, from receiving divine revelations, from becoming acquainted with one’s own spiritual gifts, and from recognizing one’s spiritual authority...is that one can hold the subtle belief that he/she is Christ or above Christ... rather than like Christ.
What do I mean by this?
The attempt to be Christ or to be above Him is to… pick and choose what is right and wrong, to casually consider what to apply and what to ignore, and to compartmentalize what is significant versus insignificant. It is to know the Word, teach the Word, but not follow ALL of the Word—especially parts personally deemed insignificant.
This sort of spiritual pride can take on various forms. But I’ll name some hypothetical thought patterns most culturally relevant:
I know that it’s important to renew my mind and that I’m commanded in the Bible to do so, but I’ve gotten older. I used to read the Scriptures and even memorize them, but now that I’m older, I already know what’s in the Bible. There’s no use studying it with the same level of fervency as before. Been there... done that. Besides, at least I'm not in the streets like I used to be and like some of these lost young people.
Or...To be holy is to be set apart. I know this and can break down scriptures that speak on the differences in being sanctified, reconciled, and redeemed. But I can curse a little. It’s not that big of a deal. They’re just words at the end of the day. I just won’t say it around my children. And if I’m excited or frustrated, I can throw around God’s name irreverently. God knows my heart.
Or...I know all about spiritual soul ties and the importance of waiting to have sex until marriage. I could teach an entire lecture on 1 Corinthians 6. But when it comes to me, God understands. I personally can’t do it. Yeah yeah yeah, I know 2 Peter 1:3 states that God has given us everything we need for life and godliness, but I’m human. But hey, I’ll fast from sex for a couple of months. But that’s all I can commit to.
Or... God says the eye is the lamp of the body, but I’m not affected by what I see on TV, Netflix, or Youtube anymore. So I can watch whatever I want and listen to whatever I want. But I’ll make sure to tell the little ones to close their eyes when that sex scene comes on. My soul will remain unaffected.
Or my favorite..I know that God sees lying as an abomination, but I need to take a day trip. So I'll call in sick. They don’t give me enough days off anyway. At least I show up to work faithfully.
Be wary of this, beloved.
As we Christians become more aware of the dangers of self-righteousness and legalism, let us also be just as vigilant to beware of an elitist mentality that attempts to put us above the commands of God. All of the Word of God is true and ought to be applied.
Hear me. There is a difference between the person who curses like a sailor, struggles with porn, has illicit sex but repeatedly reaches for our loving Father, confesses wrongdoing, and makes sincere efforts to walk back on the straight and narrow... and the person who knows a way is not pleasing to God and pridefully justifies a continued trek.
How can someone arrive to the latter? How can one become hardened to sin? I honestly think it boils down to 2 things:
Not having a healthy fear of the Lord
Forgetting one’s spiritual depravity before Christ. And forgetting one’s continued need for Christ.
Do you have a healthy fear of God? I know He’s your homie, but is He your Lord, Master, and King too? If a believer, do you vividly recall the darkness that God brought you out of? Do you wake up each day with the sense of indebtedness in acknowledging who Christ is to you, what He has done for you, and that you are nothing without Him? Remembering lends itself to humility. Forgetting, is a black hole to spiritual pride.
If this is you, don’t be discouraged. It was also me like yesterday (hence, the birth of this blog post). There’s hope for us.
First, repent.
Turn away from pride and to God— in the most transparent of ways without shame, knowing that Your God is gentle. He is not going to throw fire on You. He rejoices more than anything in You coming to Him humbly as a child in need of forgiveness (Luke 15:1-7). For me, sometimes this one act can sometimes take a while (um...days sometimes) because pride has to literally GO in order to do this. In doing this, the Lord will really show you how He views that particular act of sin that you thought wasn’t a big deal. He will never condemn.
However, don’t be surprised if you find yourself in a state of mourning. Sin is serious. And when the Holy Spirit shows you the actual severity of your actions that you thought was no big deal—you should mourn. When you read the Psalms, you witness King David literally mourning over his sin (Psalm 51). He is not wallowing in condemnation. He is mourning, which is a healthy practice after realizing what breaks God’s heart.
Secondly, pray fervently for a righteous fear of God.
Remember it is dangerous to be in a place where you think you can live outside the commands of God’s Word. It’s so easy to do when approaching the Word while in a state of spiritual pride. Remember, the goal is to be like Christ. Even as God and man, Jesus humbly submitted himself to the will and word of the Father, and that is our call as well. You never want to assume that you possess the authority of Christ to pick and choose what is right and what is wrong, what to apply and what to ignore, and what is significant and what is insignificant.
PonderedThought: Do your actions sometimes reflect the belief that you have the same authority as Christ? Do you subtly gloss over some scriptures and pick and choose which scriptures to ascribe to? Praise God for revealing that to you. Now, Confess. Repent. And Remember. Remember that we are all wretched sinners in need of a Saviour on a daily basis.
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Thinking about giving up? Add this 1 thing to your next prayer
By fighting difficult seasons, I've come to resent difficulties. Through resentment, I can become bitter. And in bitterness, I consciously or unconsciously turn and blame God when I’ve had enough.
Sometimes I look at my life and think, “Wow, I really like this season that I’m in right now.”
Just as suddenly, I resolve to do everything in my power to maintain the temporal in order to embrace comfortability. I absolutely love seasons of comfort, peace, rest, and fruitfulness. And I fear seasons of turmoil, death, and fruitlessness. Therefore when the latter occurs, I feel off balance and frantically seek “realignment” through seeking a particular circumstance... rather than seeking what lies in eternity, which is Christ.
When I’m in a state of constantly seeking favorable circumstances, every precious moment is clouded by shuddering thoughts.
When my mom gives me insightful advice on motherhood and interacts with her grandson (my son), I wonder “What will I do if lose her?”
When I finish breastfeeding and see my little one clutch my shirt for more, I quietly pray, “Lord how will my heart handle it when he one day pushes me away?”
When my husband and I share a season of sweet intimacy, I can’t help but wonder when it’ll end.
On the flip side, when I find myself in unfavorable circumstances, my first response is simply,
“Get me out!!! Let it end. I can’t take it.”
And I’ll do whatever it takes to AVOID situations where I must persevere.
By fighting difficult seasons, we come to resent difficulties. Through resentment we become bitter. And in bitterness, we consciously or unconsciously turn and blame God when we’ve had enough.
I believe myself and many Millennials find ourselves more depressed, confused, and empty due to seeking permanent comfort and security. Most times, we place unfair expectations on our futures by doing all the “right things” with the motivation of avoiding difficult seasons.
I don’t mean to jump on the bandwagon of so many by beating up my generation and the generation after by shaking my head and waving my finger while lip-syncing to the song of “This generation...I just don’t know.” But when I hear...
I need to go ahead and marry because I’m tired of feeling lonely.
I need to have a child because I want someone to love me.
I need a good paying job to avoid awkward pauses at social outings when others ask, “So what do you do for a living?”
I need to quit my current job because my manager is…just too much.
I always need to go out to avoid the emptiness that weighs on me when inside my dorm/apartment alone.
I need to helicopter my kid because I want to avoid all the things that I fear most when not being in control.
I need to divorce because I don’t love him/her anymore.
"Girl, as long as you're happy," is not the answer.
Be careful in exchanging eternal refinement, by shortcutting difficult seasons, for fleeting gratifications (above all else).
I really don’t mean to sound insensitive, but avoiding difficult seasons is not the answer. Seeking Christ and abiding in His peace is.
John 16: 33 "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
So you may be wondering, "Yeah, I get it. But realistically, when I'm praying, I'm not about to be thanking God for whatever unwelcomed circumstance I find myself in. Let's be real."
Hmmmmm...So before you check out on me, let me provide you with some context. All of these thoughts came about when reflecting on what the Lord shared with me 2 years ago (before pregnancy). He revealed to me that He was about to take me into a season of perseverance.
Naively, I was like “Alright, I’m ready!” In my head, I equated perseverance to the idea of running a marathon and allowing the Lord to get me into shape spiritually. I was excited about the idea. Nevermind potential leg cramps, dehydration, and muscle soreness that could ensue. Bring on the cute bod!
But a year later, I thought of what the Lord said while taking care of my son (4 months old at the time). After feeling good that I’d finally garnered somewhat of a schedule with him, there came a poop explosion, pee that somehow made it outside of his diaper, a perfectly made smoothie that somehow fell off the TV tray and splattered across our newly painted gray walls, a broken glass that shattered to pieces in the process, and a date night delayed (at a time when my husband and I really needed time to connect.)
Long story short…perseverance my butt. Perseverance didn't look so appealing.
But then, I thought of……
My grandfather, who was a principal and was fired from his position when integration reached Booneville, MS. He never was a principal again.
My grandmothers, who each raised four children in the midst of racial tensions while living in Mississippi during the 1950s.
My father, who was denied his dental license in MS (racially motivated) and was forced to move my mom and my newborn sister to Tennessee.
My mom who somehow worked full time and still helped to raise 4 kids.
And my female ancestors who somehow endured pregnancy, labor, motherhood, and family separation while living under the barbaric system of slavery in America.
How did they all keep living day-to-day...when I complain about mopping the floors?
In seeking favorable circumstances, my and many others’ current prayer requests read like this: "Can you tell God to fix this situation...NOW?”
I’ll still be praying this, by the way. But this prayer request ought to be coupled with the following:
“And if He doesn’t, can you ask Him to find me faithful even through this circumstance?”
Find me faithful.
Where do we see this modeled in the Bible?
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were 3 young men who were about to be thrown into a blazing hot fire for not worshiping an idol. Here’s their response:
“17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.””
Did you hear what they just said?
They have faith that God can change the circumstance.
But even if He doesn’t, they say, “I’ma be found faithful!”
I challenge you to continue praying for various circumstances to change in your life. But I dare you to utter the prayer, “Lord even if you don’t, help me to be found faithful today.”
PonderedThought: Instead of seeking easy seasons of life, yes, pray that a particular circumstance might change. But also surrender and pray that the Lord might find you faithful no matter what He chooses to do in your current situation. This can only occur through the grace of God. Remember, comfort is not the goal. You being faithful and in a disposition of surrender ought to be. This life is so short. And if you’re saved, before you know it, you’ll be living in eternity.
Post inspired by the following song by David Helser and interview by Priscilla Shirer.
Verses to help you surrender to this notion:
1. Lord, get me out of this situation because what if this happens….and then this…. which will inevitably lead to this….
Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
2. Lord, I can’t keep going at this pace. Thank you for the grace offered today, but what about tomorrow?
Psalm 46:1 “I am your refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”
3. Thank you for still providing for us when I didn’t have a job, or when my husband didn’t have a job, or when we didn’t know where our next check was going to come from. But I don't feel like going through that again. Can’t we just seek security by remaining where we are? I don’t feel like following You if it means taking a risk again.
Luke 12:22-26 “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn, yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?”.
4. I know you helped me this time by helping me to not go completely off on my co-worker, husband, child, sibling, parent...but what about next time? Cause that last time just about took everything out of me to not...
Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
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Top 5 Unconventional Christian books...that altered my walk with Christ
Give yourself silence, uninterrupted time, and a good view, and you have the perfect setting to dig into a good read. Here are 5 unconventional Christian books that altered my walk with Christ.
Top 5 Unconventional Christian books... that Altered my walk w/ Christ
1. I Dared to Call Him Father by Bilquis Sheikh
Have you ever wondered how others hear the voice of God? Well, this spiritual memoir gives great insight on how intimate the Lord can be to an individual. From intimate conversations to divine warnings, to specific convictions, the Holy Spirit spoke to Ms. Sheikh in a way that I didn't think was possible. Great read. (Shout out to Lydia friend for the original rec!)
2. Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers
For years, I’ve been begging my husband (literally) to read this great novel! This is by far my favorite fiction book. But you should only pick up this book if you are ready to experience a depth of rawness that you didn’t know your eyes could take in (without consuming anything graphic). To be perfectly honest, Francine Rivers has a way of writing that is much different from most other cliche’, diluted, cheesy Christian fiction novels that I’ve read in the past. I don't mean to sound harsh but that's just been my experience meandering the published Christian fiction selections. What sets Rivers apart from others is that she gets at the heart. Now, don't you love how I’ve told you absolutely nothing about the premise of the novel? Just trust me and read the book!
3. Mark of the Lion Series by Francine Rivers
When I read Paul’s epistles, like Romans or Ephesians, I have little context for the places and environments in which Paul writes. But after reading the fiction series, Mark of the Lion, oh boy, do I see that there is absolutely nothing new under the sun. Talk about living in environments in which evil was done blatantly and was also culturally accepted (sound familiar?). Now insert Christ. Being a Christian in these times was no joke (70 A.D.-). You were either hot or cold. There was little room to be lukewarm. After you read these novels, I promise, you’ll read the New Testament differently.
4. A Voice in the Night: The True Story of a Man and the Miracles That Are Changing Africa by Pastor Surprise
God is still doing supernatural miracles. You may not witness them every day, but the impossible is still being made possible. This spiritual memoir, by Pastor Surprise, exacts just that. From being the only survivor of his village, to somehow becoming a Christian through divine intervention, to healing others and performing miracles as a teenager, this spiritual memoir will definitely reveal to you a divine Power that you have probably yet to experience in your own day-to-day life (at least this is what I can say of my own life._
5. Deadline by Randy Alcorn
This fiction book is apart of a mystery series. I typically don’t go for mystery, but I tried this anyway. By the time I finished reading Deadline, my prayers became more potent. I increasingly found myself praying over our home, my husband, the streets of Chicago, church services, coworkers, work environments, meals, car rides. You name it, and I was praying over it! Why? This book reveals to you what is potentially happening in the spiritual realm while incidents occur in the physical realm. If you are looking to expand your prayer life, this book will naturally do it!
6. Heaven by Randy Alcorn
So this book is last and not apart of the top 5...mainly because I’m still reading it. But I had to add it to the list. Heaven is nonfiction and draws attention to something that we should all be leaping for joy over, and yet, typically know so little about. What I'm talking about is Heaven. Alcorn reveals scriptures and uproots all misconceived conceptions on what Heaven is going to be like. Although I’m not done reading the book (it’s a pretty thick text), I am already so much more excited about living on the New Earth. When I take walks with our baby boy and when we watch Planet Earth, I love sharing with him how there will be remnants of this Earth on the next. Oddly enough, this book is also helping me become less comfortable on this Earth. As I face recent trials, this book is currently helping me to persevere that much more everyday. My only warning is that as you read Heaven, the glamor of this life will slowly lose any and all appeal.
It's Not About You
Have you ever found yourself in prayer, constantly asking/praying in a rhythmic pattern of “Lord help me to....and I pray that You would...and help me to...and help me to...and help me to...and help me to?”
Have you ever found yourself in prayer, constantly asking/praying in a rhythmic pattern of “Lord help me to....and I pray that You would...and help me to...and help me to...and help me to...and help me to?”
Seeing how God desires our ultimate dependency on Him, and then seeing how the Lord is limitless in what He can do, I find myself in this pattern of “I pray that You would...and help me to…” quite often. And...there’s nothing wrong with that.
But what strikes me about King Hezekiah, when he says a particular prayer in 2 Kings 19, is not his request. Instead, it's his reasoning behind his request that gives me pause. After being threatened by death to himself and to his kingdom, Hezekiah ends his prayer to God by saying, “Save us...that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that you, O Lord, are God alone.”
Do you see it? Let’s back up. King Hezekiah just received word from another kingdom, the Assyrians, that it was going to destroy the Israelites. In fact, Hezekiah received multiple messages from the Assyrians stating that Hezekiah’s kingdom would fall to ruins and that Hezekiah’s God wouldn’t be able to protect the Israelites, God's chosen people. In response, King Hezekiah ran to the Lord. Analyzing his prayer, you can see that Hezekiah does a couple of noteworthy things:
Instead of looking to his own devices, King Hezekiah humbles himself and first acknowledges who the Lord is.
15 Hezekiah prayed before the LORD and said, “O LORD, the God of Israel, who are enthroned above the cherubim, You are the God, You alone, of all the kingdoms of the earth. You have made heaven and earth.
How important it is to explicitly acknowledge who the Lord is in prayer, especially in times of trouble/doubt. Before Hezekiah makes his request known to God, Hezekiah not only proclaims who the Lord is, but he also reminds himself just who he speaks to. I’m slowly learning the value of actively acknowledging who my heavenly Father is while I speak to him. Personally, this has helped me to pray further in faith when I remind myself who God is. He is not just another man. I’m literally speaking to the Creator of the entire Universe (ponder that for a second!).
2. King Hezekiah then presents this life-threatening problem in a way that lays the burden of his request at the feet of God rather than hesitantly at his own. This shows true trust and dependency.
16 Incline your ear, O Lord, and hear; open your eyes, O Lord, and see; and hear the words of Sennacherib, which he has sent to mock the living God. 17 Truly, O Lord, the kings of Assyria have laid waste the nations and their lands 18 and have cast their gods into the fire, for they were not gods, but the work of men's hands, wood and stone. Therefore they were destroyed.
King Hezekiah recognizes that this battle with the Assyrians is really not against him. It's against God. How many times do we find ourself in a situation in which we take the battle personally? The Lord warns us in John 15:18, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first." He also warns us in Ephesians 6 that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but we wrestle against principalities, powers, the rulers of the darkness of this age, and spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. It's pivotal to understand just who our battles are against. It's really not about you.
3. Lastly, King Hezekiah explicitly states the reasoning behind his request. He acknowledges that it's not about him!
19 “Now, O LORD our God, I pray, deliver us from his hand that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that You alone, O LORD, are God.”
And this is where I take great pause! How often do we pray with this motivation? I mean honestly. It’s so easy for me to pray “help me to...” without any motivation for the Lord to receive glory, for His kingdom to progress here on Earth, or for others to come to know Christ. Often I’m just in need and I just send up a prayer. Often, I stop thinking about the Lord’s agenda and stop short-sighted by my own selfishness.
But what I’m learning is that when I pray with the latter motivation, I subtly take myself off my own pedestal and place God in His rightful place. This guards me from bitterness or anger when I don’t see such a prayer answered, because it reminds me that I was never/should never be the center for why a prayer is answered in the first place. Rather, it reminds me that at the end of the day, Jesus really is the center of it all. (i.e. Colossians 1:16 "16 For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him.")
PonderedThought: If God isn’t the center of your prayer, check your motivation as to why you are praying in the first place.
Is His will greater than your own want/desire?
Inspired Passages:
James 4: 2-3 “You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.”
Joshua 7:7-9 "Joshua said, “Alas, O Lord God, why did You ever bring this people over the Jordan, only to deliver us into the hand of the Amorites, to destroy us? If only we had been willing to dwell beyond the Jordan! 8 O Lord, what can I say since Israel has turned their back before their enemies?9 For the Canaanites and all the inhabitants of the land will hear of it, and they will surround us and cut off our name from the earth. And what will You do for Your great name?”
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Do You Overlook Miracles due to Spiritual Shortsightedness?
It’s easier to overlook spiritual miracles and rush towards doubting/questioning/becoming overly concerned with miracles that I can see with the eye.
Did you ever watch the “Prince of Egypt” growing up? Growing up, my sisters and I would listen to the soundtrack of Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston, while mouthing the words to the famous song “When you believe.”
Our favorite scene was the splitting of the Red Sea. To any child, to see waters split like magic, never got old. I wanted to serve this kind of God. At the time, I thought the story ended there. I honestly thought that Moses and the Israelites lived happily ever after. But...such is life. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I discovered that Pharaoh and the Red Sea were only the beginnings of several trials that Moses later faced.
If you don’t know the story, Moses led an entire nation (who was enslaved for more than 400 years) away from the grips of Pharaoh and the Egyptians. The Lord promised the Israelites a land flowing with milk and honey. However, obtaining that land would not come without its’ challenges. Well, in the midst of some of these challenges, the Israelites began to complain. Miraculously, the Lord provided food from the heavens (I wonder what that bread must’ve tasted like) every single day. But the Israelites started to want some meat. So much so, that the Israelites questioned why they even left Egypt in the first place. Maybe slavery wasn’t so bad? (Shocker, right?) This was a direct affront to the Lord, who not only freed them, but also provided for them each and every day. Y’all, this was just one of several complaints that the Israelites made (read the book of Numbers).
Quail eggs in a nest.
Well, it got to a point that Moses prayed for death. In Numbers 11, the burden of caring for so many people with so many different complaints, led Moses to state the following: “I alone am not able to carry all this people, because it is too burdensome for me. So if You are going to deal thus with me, please kill me at once, if I have found favor in Your sight, and do not let me see my wretchedness.”
Thankfully, the Lord didn’t answer that prayer. Instead, the Lord responded to Moses' prayer by stating 2 miracles that He would do instead.
The Lord would place His Spirit on 70 of the elders that Moses chose. (At the time, the Lord’s Spirit was only on Moses.) Numbers 11: 16 -17
The Lord would feed the 600,000 Israelites quail every single day for 1 Month Numbers 11: 18-20
2 miracles. But which of the two miracles do you think was harder for Moses to believe?
Numbers 11:21 But Moses said, “The people, among whom I am, are 600,000 on foot; yet You have said, ‘I will give them meat, so that they may eat for a whole month.’ 22 Should flocks and herds be slaughtered for them, to be sufficient for them? Or should all the fish of the sea be gathered together for them, to be sufficient for them?”
Why am I writing such a long blog post about Moses (kudos if you have made it this far in reading)? I think it’s because I see the humanness of Moses in me and in so many other Christians in today’s Christian culture. It’s easier for many to overlook spiritual miracles and rush towards doubting/questioning/becoming overly concerned with miracles that one can see with the eye. The ability for the Lord to place His Spirit upon 70 ordinary men is just as miraculous, if not more, than feeding quail to 600,000. One ought to see the miraculous work in both.
Instead of doubting or exciting oneself over the thought of God's Spirit dwelling in 70 ordinary men, Moses quickly turned his attention to God's ability to provide quail—something Moses could see with the eye. Why didn't he react in the same way upon hearing about God's spirit dwelling in 70 men?
You see this interesting tension play out thousands of years later when Jesus confronts a man who is paralyzed. When a paralytic comes to Jesus, the Lord immediately states to the paralytic man, “Take courage, son; your sins are forgiven.” Of course, there were doubters in the crowd who merely scoffed at this notion that Jesus could forgive sins. To which the Lord responded by stating, “Which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, and walk’? “But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—then He said to the paralytic, “Get up, pick up your bed and go home.” The people didn’t actually believe in the power of the Lord to spiritually forgive sins, until they physically saw Jesus heal this man of his paralysis.
So what does this all have to do with you and I?
How many times have we thanked the Lord or shared a testimony with others solely regarding physical miracles and ignored the spiritual miracles that the Lord is doing in and around us? You see, if we aren’t careful, we may miss out on so many opportunities to thank the Lord and testify to His power, due to overlooking the work of the Lord—simply because we cannot tangibly see it. In my experience, it's been more difficult to share with others regarding what the Lord is doing spiritually on my behalf due to the inevitable need to be more transparent. Recall that the Lord sent His Spirit upon 70 men, in response to Moses' prayer for death. How could Moses share the former without disclosing the latter as well. So many times in sharing what the Lord has done for me spiritually, I must acknowledge my weakness, brokeness, my fallenness, my NEED. Thus I resort to merely sharing what is easy and appropriately fitting for the physical realm..."My praise report is that I got 8 hours of sleep last night."
God’s ability to help you shut your mouth when you really want to curse someone out, or to respect your husband truly in your heart, or to treat your wife as one who is willing to lay down his life for her, or to forgive the unforgivable—these are all miracles from God. So the next time you have a praise report… be careful to not overlook the spiritual miracles that the Lord has done in your life in conjunction to the physical. That new job, or new condo, or new car, or high tax return is definitely something to praise God for. But let’s not overlook the fact that the ability to have peace, to see oneself become more like Christ, to see certain strongholds broken, to have angels swarm about you for protection in the middle of the night—also ought to be praised with just as much fervor! When we acknowledge the miracles of the spiritual, we see that it is nothing for God to bless in the physical. And it creates opportunity to see just how amazing God is and just how much we are in need of Him. Sometimes I think the Lord blesses in both realms just to kindly remind us that His power is not limited.
In the end, the Lord responded to Moses’ questions by stating the following:
23 The Lord said to Moses, “Is the Lord’s power limited? Now you shall see whether My word will come true for you or not.”
PonderedThought: I encourage you this week to allow your prayers to extend to the physical and even beyond. Do you struggle with anxiety, fear, lustful thoughts, greed, jealousy, lack of love for the Lord, irritability, doubt of one's ability, or a greater love for man’s opinion than God’s? Pray for the impossible! Don’t just stop at what you can see—fewer bills, better grades, traveling mercy, etc. These things need to be prayed for...just don’t forget about the spiritual blessings as well! The Lord's power is not limited.
Is God only found on certain parts of Earth? (I thought I knew the answer)
However, when it came down to a dwindling savings account, a lack of call backs from potential employers, was God a God of the real world with harsher consequence?
Because the Arameans have said, “Yahweh is a god of the mountains and not a god of the valleys,” I will hand over all this great army to you. Then you will know that I am the Lord. 1 Kings 20:28
I am in constant amnesia of what the Lord is capable of doing, as I enter into different seasons of life in which the season yields itself to unfamiliar territory. As a result, anxiousness soon arises. The Arameans fought a battle in the mountains against the Lord’s people, the Israelites, and saw how Yahweh moved on the behalf of His people. The Arameans quickly reasoned that God’s ability was confined to a particular region and area—the mountains. Therefore they assumed that if the battle against the Israelites took place in the valley, the Israelites would cease to win. No, like they actually believed this.
When I initially read this passage, I quietly chuckled to myself, knowing all too well that the Lord is not confined to the basis of a geographical region. Yet, the first time I chuckled, the Holy Spirit quickly revealed to me how often I, a believer, attain the same thinking as the Arameans did. What do I mean by this?
If I haven’t seen the Lord move within my life within a particular area or challenge, I forget that He too has control and power in that area. It’s as if the Lord is constantly whispering to me,
“I too am the God of the valley, Jessica.”
Looking back, I recall these constant whispers when, for instance, I desperately ran to my mama when my first pregnancy symptom arose, or to my girlfriend when the first challenge in marriage seemed insurmountable, or to my fiction books when I wanted to escape reality, or to some blogs when I wanted to read how others dealt with a particular struggle, or to my own wisdom when the Lord wasn’t answering my prayers quickly enough. And though these things aren’t wrong, in them of themselves, why is it my first inkling is to run to others before I turn to the Lord?
My motivation? What I truly believe deep down is, “I believe you to be God—but just not in this area. I’ll consult You when all my other options are exhausted.”
You see, it’s easier for me to believe in God for salvation from eternal damnation, but not from certain external circumstances or internal struggles. I believe that God can prove powerful in my friend’s life, but not in all areas of my own. I believe that He can set the captives free in the bible, but not those closest to me (of whom I’ve been interceding on behalf for for years.) In all these ways, I sublty state,
“Lord, you are the God of the mountains...but maybe not of the valleys.”
How hurtful.
And yet, in response, God graciously proves me wrong every...single...time.
When the lemon, the ginger, the crackers, and the carbonated drinks wouldn’t alleviate my morning sickness, I prayed and the Lord showed me exactly what to eat each morning—greatly reducing my nausea.
When I contracted a sinus infection that persisted for 3 weeks on end without relief, and the docs suggestions weren’t working, I finally prayed and the Lord told me to stop eating chicken for a day. Guess what? My sinus congestion actually cleared up by the next morning (I can't make these things up).
When I began to feel anxious at work and all my best efforts of breathing exercises and Facebook distraction couldn’t take off the edge, I finally prayed and the Lord told me to read the Word. He LITERALLY granted me His peace that surpasseth all understanding.
The moment I confine the Lord into certain areas of my life by making Him into a God of the _____ or a God of the ______, I forget that He is simply Lord. He owns it all. He knows it all. Because...He created it all.
PonderedThought: The next time you run to your “go to,” first ask yourself,
Do I believe God to be God, or do I confine Him to only certain regions of my life?
Saved...through stand still traffic
Some car got shot at. Some car...was shot.
I sat in traffic, not knowing nor realizing that I had begun my day already late. I woke up and left the house around 7:18 AM, already 10 minutes ahead of schedule. However, as I traveled down the Dan Ryan highway in Chicago, the impending lights caused my brakes to come to a screeching halt. And like that, my schedule was upended. I texted my principal, and what was initially planned to be a 25-minute ride, turned into one that lasted well over an hour and a half in standstill traffic.
How often do we plan, schedule, adjust, prepare—only to be brought to a screeching halt? God works in and beyond schedules and even time. He somehow possesses control over every living moment of our lives, in and through our schedules. My mind can’t fathom it at times. The moments that I think I’m in control, I’m not. As I’ve recently been reading through the first half of the book of 1 Kings, I see that many persons in history probably thought that they were in control, not realizing the previous promises made to ancestors—allowing certain kingdoms to rise or fall, certain people to live or die, and certain persons to come into power due to the Lord’s faithfulness to one’s lineage. But as I sat in traffic today, it was hard to recall that even the Lord had this subtle schedule delay in control all along. I thought I was in traffic only due to my own misgivings. Therefore, I simply sat thinking of how I should’ve left earlier, how I should’ve checked Google maps before taking this route, and how I should’ve should’ve could’ve “XYZ.”
The previous day, the Spirit told me to begin praying for traveling mercy for both Evan (husband) and I. I’d never felt this prompting from the Spirit to randomly pray for traveling mercy during my regular day-to-day activity. Usually, Evan and I would always pray when going on a long road trip or when jetting off on an airplane. But the Spirit kept reminding me to pray for traveling mercy. And so I did.
But by the next day, I had completely forgotten this prompting as I sat in traffic. By the time I arrived at school, I had a sliver of 2-3 minutes before beginning my first class. While walking briskly to my classroom, a teacher yelled out from her desk, “Jess you good?” This teacher knew that I had missed my first-period prep.
“Yeah, I finally made it in,” I responded, a bit out of breath.
“Yeah, I heard they shut down the Dan Ryan due to some police activity.”
“Really?”
“Yeah they were shooting on the highway and some car got shot at.”
Due to needing to get to my classroom, I didn’t have time to adequately respond. Yet, my thoughts began racing.
Wait, what?! Some car got shot at. Some car...was shot.
Here I was, consumed by my own natural thoughts... not realizing, nor thinking, of the mercy and grace of being stuck in traffic. I had succumbed to view my situation merely through a natural lens, rather than to thank the Lord for what He was doing in the supernatural realm. If I had left earlier… who knows? All I can say ask is, how can one not see the Sovereignty of God? I made it to school, just in time, in one piece. And though I don’t know all of the reasons for being stuck in traffic—to say that it didn’t work out for my good (however “good” is defined), is preposterous. No, the Lord is in control and it is Him that I will continue to serve and give all the glory.
PonderedThought: Next time your carefully planned schedule is unexpectedly thwarted, be careful to immediately look towards the means by which you could’ve prevented the situation. It’s already there. Instead, look up and ask the Lord the following:
“Lord, how are you working in and through this situation for my good and for Your glory?”
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