Sometimes I look at him and wonder. I wonder where the butterflies went, the sweaty hands that suddenly found stability, the upset stomach that sequestered calm, and the frantic eyes that somehow steadied. I look at my husband and am more drawn into the mystery of what brought us together.
Of course, his charm, his humor, and his really good looks helped. But more deeply, I wonder what made us say “yes” to each other and “no” to the rest. Was it my go-to perfume that put his head in a daze? Or was it my sharp sass that held him in want? Was it his swag coupled with quick wit that kept me on my toes? I point largely to the exterior, not due to vanity but due to the fact that without any other reason, I don't know what brought us together, what made our eyes lock into one, and what made our hearts pant deeply for one another...except for God.
On our first date, we didn’t discuss the number of children we wanted, where we desired to live long-term, the percentage of our check we’d like to see in our 401K, or our anticipated parenting styles. We talked. We laughed. And an uncanny chemistry drew us closer and wouldn’t let us go.
You see the older I get, the more this mystery becomes of growing intrigue. Because when I said “I do,” I really didn’t know exactly what I’d be saying “I do” to.
I didn’t know I’d be saying “I do” to a man who held strong faith in God when we were unexpectedly down to 1 income 3 months after marriage. One who’d try to understand me when I was PMSing and needed a huge hug right around my waist but not too tight. One who didn’t make fun of me when I was having extreme pregnancy hormones and missed my mom and sisters and decided to watch Steel Magnolias at 4 AM on a Sunday morning, wept loudly at the end, and then proceeded to get dressed for church as if nothing happened.
I didn’t know I said “I do” to a man who is an amazing father and who cherishes greatly the legacy he passes down. I didn’t know I said “I do” to a visionary, to one who asks “why” at the most inopportune, yet crucial times, and one who debates me for fun or for my sheer annoyance. I didn’t know I said “I do” to these things, and yet I did.
Sure, we dated for a long time, talked seriously about our future goals, discussed our compatibility and sought pre-marital counseling. But even with all of these things, saying “I do” took a leap of faith. For when anyone says “I do,” one can’t see the coming arguments, the full extent of a spouse’s sinful condition, all of the difference of opinions, nor life’s different trials that comes with simply living.
And yet every argument my husband and I have, every sinful condition we wrestle out of each other, every difference of opinion that challenges our worldview, every unexpected trial that comes our way, reassures me all the more that I said “I do” to the right man. I said “I do” to my forever love. I didn’t know all these things then. And yet I made the right choice. That puzzles me.
Proverbs 30: 18-19
18 There are three things which are too wonderful for me,
Four which I do not understand:
19 The way of an eagle in the sky,
The way of a serpent on a rock,
The way of a ship in the middle of the sea,
And the way of a man with a maid.
I can’t put my finger on what exactly drew us together. It’s hard to articulate the unseen attraction felt that was noticeably different from previous lusts. And it’s even more unnerving to evidence the certainty we both felt in knowing we were each other’s forever-early on. For when I made a vow, I honestly didn’t know what all that vow would entail.
And yet, I looked into my soon-to-be husband’s eyes on our wedding day, and said “for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, till death do us part…I do.” That’s the essence of marriage—faith. I didn’t know the exact direction life would take us...and I still don’t. But don’t you see that that’s the mystery and the beauty of marriage?
We didn’t know. We don’t know. And yet we said, and say “I do.”
PonderedThought: What are some things that you said “I do” to that you didn’t know would occur in your own marriage? If not married, what are some things you’re already considering saying “I do” to that you’ve put great thought into?
Additionally, if you’re a believer, ponder more deeply on the fact that God said “I do” to you while knowing your full sinful condition. While knowing when you’d turn your back on Him. While knowing when you’d choose the things of this world over Him. And yet, He said, and continues to say “I do” to you every single day. That too is the mystery and beauty of a covenant relationship with God.